I recently joined GoodReads.com and found it quite refreshing. For a book lover like me, a social media site anchored to a connection among people like me is like finding a slice of paradise.
Although not all my friends there are really there to discuss books, just there to pick up nerdy book worms with no social lives, I reconnected with the most unexpected old friends and saw a exhaustive list of all the books I have read, plan to read and currently reading.
Then I chanced upon “The Divine Secrets of the Yaya Sisterhood” by Rebecca Wells. I wrote a short review about it, rated it and sighed. This is what people in goodreads should do.
Well anyway, I mean to talk about this book, not review it. Reading it had an unexpected impact on me. I am not exactly a fan of cheesy feel good stuff or literature, “Look Back in Anger” happens to be one of my favorite books and I listen to ACDC when I’m sad. But, I found Ms. Wells’ novel refreshing and touching. Surprising, yes.
My mom and I have always had a rocky relationship. She considers me her black sheep among her three daughters. Yes, we had no brothers to mess up, just us… I mean me. My two sisters are making more money than I am. My eldest sister is at home taking care of our mom – sacrificing a life of her own while our youngest is a successful entrepreneur with a family of her own and a writer like me. We three all write for a living by the way.
I was a full-time activist not long ago and this added to my mother’s complaints and when she saw me in the news she was livid. I did not meet her expectations and married a guy she did not like. She hates the way I live and I understand her now, not before.
So when I read The Divine Secrets… I was crying and laughing by myself. I read the book so many times it literally fell apart. I bought it at a thrift shop so it was already worn out anyway.
Vivi – the lead character felt like my mom and myself rolled into one. The last scene was the mother and daughter finally together after years of separation which was intentional, hugging and laughing and thinking that they did not have to flesh out the details of each others lives to finally understand and love each other – made me cry a river.
It was a dream scene for me and my mom. Never gonna happen. She can crack the most hurtful lines like a whip, faster than David Letterman ever could. She could pull me up and push me down in one sentence. But I am making an effort to make her happy for me and about me. I want her love so much that it hurts when I think about it.
After my dad’s death last year, she was all I had. Shit, I’m crying right now. I did not mean to write all these. All I wanted to say was, the people who made stupid comments like it was a poor version of the classic ‘Steel Magnolias‘ were stupid. I do not care if I am not a Southern girl or from the bayou in Louisiana, or that I have never tasted crayfish my entire life or that I will probably never get to see that place they were so dreamy about in the book – again Louisiana. I may even have misspelled the freaking place’s name. All I care about is that the novel showed me the scenes I have always dreamed of happening to me. Moments that should have happened in my life. That was it. Just like I said, not a book review – more of a reaction to reading the book.
I may never get to experience them, never get to feel the same cathartic absolution/resolution to my conflict with my mom. I may die before my mom and before she ever forgives me because of my thyroid problem that affected my heart – literally. But at least I got to read the lines in this book and felt what I was supposed to feel.
So there. I will wipe my tears and ignore my husband for the entire day because I am so pissed at myself and he’s just a victim of horizontal violence. But I finally got the chance to let it out thanks to this blog and to my small group of audience. Thank you for reading and/or not reading.
Have a good one folks!//
thirtysomethingsmotherofone 
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